Thursday, September 1, 2011

Roughing It

I didn't realize that by moving to the country we were moving so far from civilization that even the Internet doesn't exist! Even my missionary friends in the jungle of Papa New Guinea have the Internet! Okay, it's through a satellite phone and they sleep with mosquito netting and take cold showers...but still!

So far the only option that exists for us and the Internet is some random local DSL company. We've exhausted all other options. Comcast - nope. Direct TV - negatory. AT&T Wireless - nuh uh. Verizon 3G - yes, but not fast enough to support streaming video. Clearwire - nada.

My last hope (besides the local company, which the neighbors say is "slower than molasses" - another euphemism that actually IS used in the country) was this sketchy sign seen at the turn off onto our street.

Just realized I left my phone at home that has the picture on it - but you can use your imagination - the sign looks like this:

High Speed Broadband Internet
Now Available in Your Area

I refused to give the guy my address/name until he gave me his company name and I was able to research it on the Internet (via cell phone). He seems legit, but he also advertises his personal vacation home on his website, so I'm not confident in his ability to provide us with the level of Internet service we are accustomed to...

The neighbors aren't sympathetic to the dearth of quality Internet in our area:  "Well, this is the country," they said. "You gotta slow down a little bit." Not helpful new neighbors. I can't watch pirated movies and JP can't watch all his boring financial MSNBC stories. Country life is ROUGH! (I kid...sort of.)

Speaking of new neighbors. We've been exploring our new surroundings and realized that we are severely lacking in the way of driveway beautification. If you need directions to our house, here are a few easy ways to find the ol' homestead...

First turn right at the cow cutouts...

Pass the old windmill...

Go about a quarter mile past the animal skull...

Make a left at the doggy mailbox...

And if you pass the stone chicken, you'll know you've gone too far.

You can always ask some friendly neighbors for help if you get lost.

And when you leave, don't forget to stop by and pick up your live Christmas tree.

Since we haven't had the Internet to keep us busy, we've put LJ to work on some home improvement projects. He's learning pretty quick!

We've also taken lots of advantage of our new "swimming pool" and been soaking up the last few weeks of summer.

Well, as I type this, the guy with the vacation rental on his Internet service website just emailed me back and the clock on my screen is telling me it's time to get out of the office and head home to my sweet little family. Be back in a few days with more good stuff!

Thanks for reading!

-Beck :)


  1. ha ha. great post. i enjoy reading about all your funny life stories. thanks for sharing!

  2. Beck, I love what you're doing with this. The picture map was classic. Keep it up!

    ~Chris M.

  3. You are so creative, friend!! :) Sad you don't have internet yet...but hopefully you will soon!! We will come see you soon...just been super busy with the new job! :)